Make birthdays fun and transform them into a smart way to express your feelings about the process of getting older. These humorous birthday card messages are easy and enjoyable.
1. “You’re no longer old. You’ve been aged to perfection.”
2. “Statistics indicate that those with the highest number of birthdays also live longest.”
3. “Remember that getting old is not a choice, but growing older is an option!”
4. “Age is just the number of years that the universe has been having fun with you.”
5. “As you develop silver hair and wrinkles, be aware that you’re growing wise!”
6. “If You were Jesus this day could be Christmas!”
7. “It’s more beneficial to be higher up instead of under it.”
8. “Another day is a day to have a cake.”
9. “You are aware of the sayings about candles … an even bigger wish!”
Senior Citizen Status
Certain things are just screaming “senior citizen,” like the AARP membership or reverse mortgages, as well as an endless supply of hard candy. Take the burden off of your the aging process by making fun of everything that are associated with the age of.
10. “Here’s an opportunity to continue many rooster turns about the Sun. We wish you a long life old and toothless. Jell-O is the future’s caviar!”
11. “Even even at your old age you’re still the greatest person anyone could have as a friend. I’ll get the juice of the prune ready however.”
12. “Happy birthday to you, my dear! I hope that this year is filled with happiness, depend on prune juice, the compression socks.”
13. “Happy birthday! I am smelling the smell of Bengay from the corner of my mouth… Oh my!”
14. “If someone is calling you old, hit them with your cane , then take the teeth towards them.”
15. “Another year has passed and you’re just one step closer to getting the Velcro sneakers!”
16. “Remember to take a daily dose of vitamin and supplement with fiber You older fogey!”
17. “You’re officially old. We’re looking forward to writing checks at the store, solving the NYT crossword by hand and having dinner ready by 5pm, so that we’ll get to bed at 9 pm (you’re right that 8pm is more reasonable)! !”
Funny Birthday Card Messages for Birthdays
Make sure to wish the birthday person or family member a fantastic day filled with joy, love and all the PUN stuff they’re capable of handling (get it? ).
18. “Turn on the MEWsic and Let’s get him started on his PAWty!”
19. “Here’s an APPEAL to BUTTER for the tomorrow – you’re deserved to be able to enjoy the day in BREAD! I love you.”
20. “Feliz cumpleanos. Happy birthday!”
21. “It it’s your birthday today, it is your birthday, BATTER belie it!”
22. “You FETA have a GOUDA birthday.”
23. “What is the 21st day of your birthday? It’s your BEER-thday.”
24. “Turning 21… there’s nothing to make wine about.”
25. “Have an amazing birthday. Hope it’s not too cheesy.”
26. “Happy birthday. You’re a part of a MELON.”
27. “A birthday cake as the golf ball. You have to smash it.”
28. “The cats are out the door, you’re one year younger. Hope your birthday leaves you FELINE good!”
29. “It’s you birthday? ALPACA my party cap.”
30. “Wishing you LLAMA party for your special day!”
31. “Go, Shawty! This is Sherbert Day!”
32. “Have a wonderful birthday!”
Dad Jokes to come to the rescue
What will you get when you mix puns with a humorous birthday joke? A dad joke, DUH! Who doesn’t appreciate funny dad jokes? You can add one (or several) of these eye-rolling dad jokes for an emoji on your birthday.
Did you know? Obscenity Card provide a great selection of offensive birthday cards.
33. “What kind of music is unsettling to use for balloons on birthdays? The music of pop.”
34. “How do you celebrate pickles’ birthdays? They are a favorite.”
35. “Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Bacon? Bacon, who? Bacon cake for you birthday.”
36. “What is the only thing that goes up and never decreases? The age of your body.”
37. “Why did the birthday cake come out as solid as the rock? It was the size of a marble cake.”
38. “What did one vegetable tell the other one on their birthday? “Hapea Birthday.”
39. “What did the teddy bear think after blowing out candles for his birthday? I’m not getting cake I’m overstuffed!”
40. “What do you think one of the candles said to another candle? Aren’t birthdays a way to make you feel ill?”
41. “Did you know about the huge candles for birthday sales? It was a massive blast.”
42. “What do birthdays always end with? The letter”Y.”
43. “What’s the most popular kind of cake for a birthday? Shortcake.”
44. “What would you tell an ewe’s female to celebrate her birthday? Happy birthday to the ewe!”
45. “What do you buy an avid hunter on his birthday? A birthday bird like a pheasant.”
46. “How do raccoons mark their birthdays? They are smuggled out.”
47. “Why do cats like birthdays? They are a purrrfect animal.”
48. “How do cats celebrate their birthday? It is by making mewsic.”
49. “What can a turtle do for a birthday? He’s shelling a brat.”
50. “What did one of the crustaceans tell the other one for his birthday? Have a crab-u-lous day!”
Unsophisticated Comments on Aging
It’s just a number , after all, isn’t it? It’s okay to poke fun at someone’s age , and the challenges they’ll need to contend with as years progress.
51. “With getting older comes new abilities. You’re now able to be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and even pee all simultaneously! You’re not kidding… you’ve done it for thirty years. I hope you have a wonderful day!”
52. “Don’t forget to put on your birthday dress. Make sure to check the suit for wrinkles first!”
53. “Happy Birthday! You’re now at the age when the fire marshal won’t let us put actual candles in your birthday cake!”
54. Happy birthday my sweet babu! I’m amazed that you’re turning 40 when I’m just 21. I hope you’re looking forward to the big red cake and moisturize to prevent wrinkles.
55. “You realize you’re old when you’re a little cautious and that’s the only thing you’re concerned about to do to get fit.”
56. “Yes we’ve attained the age where every compliment we receive is followed by ‘for you’re getting old’. You’re still stunning… in the time of your life!”
57. “Remember your age only an actual number… it’s just one that is really, REALLY very high number in your case!”
58. “Hope you enjoy a fantastic day full of glitter and cake, and maybe sleeping in all night (because it’s you’re getting old).”
59. “As you age you experience three things. The first is that your memory fades and I’m not able to recall the second and third.”
60. “Happy birthday! Have a great time however, not too hard I’ve heard that hangovers get worse as you the advancing years.”
Include Inside Jokes
There’s nothing more fun and more genuine than a great old-fashioned inside joke. They speak volumes about the relationship you have with your birthday boy or girl. They demonstrate how you’ve been through the thick and thin and have come out of every situation with a laugh with plenty of laughter. Incorporate something personal that just you and your partner have in common – it’s that unique element that really hits the mark.
61. “Party loud, however bring a second pair of underwear this time”
62. “Happy birthday, my dearest friend! I hope you have the most wonderful day of celebration. I’m excited to kiss you on the cheek within a couple of months. Love you always.”
63. “Happy birthday best friend! We’re looking forward to another year that we can laugh about our jokes and dealing with crazy people, and keeping each other in a healthy state!”
Comedy About Presents — or the Lack Of
If you didn’t want to send an item of gift … It’s okay as you’re giving them a fabulous Punkpost gift card! It’ll give the person you love the chance to laugh.
64. “Because you are so important to me, I gave you this piece of paper cut in two! I would love to have a celebration together, but instead you’ll receive this amazing card. It’s basically the same thing.”
65. “I’m sure we’ll find the… Something… some thing useful. In the event that we’re not able to come up with it I’d suggest you buy a gift card.”
66. “They claim that love and friendship is the most wonderful gift you can give to someone. That’s why I gave you on the day you turned a birthday!”
67. “You’re an extremely difficult person to buy for… therefore I didn’t buy you something. Happy Birthday!”
68. “Forget everything you know about your past because you can’t alter it. Don’t think about what’s to come, because you can’t forecast it. Let’s forget about the present. I didn’t buy you one.”
Create It Around You
We are concerned about our family members. We wouldn’t send an email or card without it! To keep it enjoyable and lighthearted, you can turn their birthday into your own reason to be happy.
69. “Happy day to our intelligent, talented incredible, amazing and adorable niece! You clearly aspire to be like your most beloved auntie Hehe!”
70. “Happy day to my brother who is the greatest sister in the world! You’re so blessed! We hope this brings you a feel happy and smile the remainder of your memorable day!”
71. “Happy birthday, mom! Whatever your life throws at you it is at least possible to be thankful that for the fact that you don’t have ugly children. From The Pretty One!”
72. “See I don’t not give a shit! I wish you an amazing birthday! Your snarky buddy.”
73. “Thanks for getting older and wiser, and for letting me know when to look for wrinkles and grey hair.”
74. “Your birthday day means that we can go out, eat delicious food, and have a great time all night. Thank you to be born!”
75. “Smart and attractive, and humorous. That’s enough of me. Happy Birthday!”
76. “Let’s make yourself so drunk you believe that it’s my birthday. You’ll be buying me drinks all night long.”
Start a Welcoming Committee
If you’re older than your friend inform them about what’s ahead for them as they enter their new age or decade.
77. “Happy 21st birthday MF! Welcome to the Dark Side!”
78. “Welcome to the definitely-in-you-late-20s club! It’s wonderful that to have our 401ks, and know what we want from life! SIKE! I’m still unsure of shit and will never have the knowledge!”
79. “Welcome into your 30s, when people start having babies and body parts hurt without cause Hangovers can last two days, and sleeping by 9pm is a common routine at all times, even during weekends. The process of aging is wonderful!”
80. “Happy birthday!!!! Is it 40?? You’re welcome to our club! We hope you enjoy Advil or night cream. I love you!”
There’s no way to overstate the fact that a year of age is a year closer to dying… Oh my! Bring some humor into the scenario and let them be aware that you’re happy they’re active and healthy.
81. “If I’m an old person, then you’re definitely old. And I’m sure I’m old due to my wrinkles and gray hairs and organ problems. I wish you an amazing day. It could be your last. …”
82. “Here’s to being alive on the outside, but losing your life on the inside!”
83. “I’m very happy that you’re not dead yet! I wish you an amazing day with your old friends from the past playing golf, as well as eating red meat till you pass away from the disease of the gastrointestinal tract.”
82. “Be careful. Many birthdays could cause you to die.”
84. “Happy birthday! Don’t die.”
85. “At at least, you’re not nearly as old as you’ll in the next… If you’re able to make it!”
86. “I will cease making jokes about your age for your birthdays now… You’ve at a point in your life at which it’s just not funny any more.”
87. “You’ve been around for another year in the sun, and boy am I happy for this. I could not think of my existence without you, so remain alive!”
88. “Keep your spirits alive, man. Happy late (but what’s the point of time in reality?) birthday!”
Surprise!! It’s an undiscovered CONFETTI BOMB!! Include confetti and one of these messages on any birthday card and make the recipient laugh and then sigh in frustration.
89. “You make life so enjoyable.”
90. “You already knew that confetti was on the way. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!”
91. “We are so happy for you and wish you enjoy your day! Have fun cleaning the confetti that was on this card!”
Sassy and Sexy
To celebrate your partner’s birthday What better way to add some spice? These sassy and flirty messages will surely get them in a celebratory mood.”wink-wink!”
92. “I wanted to mail you something “sexy” but the mailman forced me to take my mailbag out of the box. Therefore, here’s a card instead!”
93. “You might have wrinkles or an age spot that is bright red in your nose but you’ve have an a** that is killing. Happy Birthday baby! I am so happy for you! Love, Your Young Wife.”
94. “Old as a pig, but you are still look so cute! I wish you the best birthday ever and many more to be to Happy birthday, “old man””
95. “Happy birthday, my dear! There’s a celebration in my pants, and you’re invited! Hehe!”
96. “I I love you from the bottom of my heart! I’d like to claim my heart however, my butt’s larger. My butt is in love with you!”
97. “It’s your birthday so I’ll blow your horn. Happy Birthday!”
98. “As we age I will cherish you more than ever before. I will be awestruck by your wrinkles and wrinkles when you smile and smile and frown. I’ll massage your excess skin, fats and a sagging stomach! And then a hot kiss like it’s our first. In the end, whether hard or not we’ll make love like it’s one of our own!”
99. “Since this is your day, I’ll turn off the lights.”
Pop culture references perform double duty. They can make you sound hip and contemporary, however, they also serve as an important time capsule when you look back after 20 years (because everybody keep their birthday card the same amount of time, don’t you think?). Take a moment to laugh today, and then a second one after!
100. “Happy birthday! Let’s have a party by going to ‘Schittfaced” somewhere!”
101. “Why Did the angry Jedi take a detour? To reach Dark Side! We wish you the most wonderful birthday!”
102. “For Your Birthday, what would you like ‘True crime and wine’. “Happy birthday!”
103. “Happy Birthday to me and my very favorite Muggle. I love you as much as Dobby likes socks!”
Love You I Love You, Love You, Hate You Happy Birthday!
It’s a love-hate bond. Your annoying little brother you cherish dearly. Your most trusted friend who can make you mad. You love them however, sometimes you dislike them. We don’t get it either! We wish them a Happy Birthday however.
104. “You’re an alcoholic most of the time, but I am in love with you!”
105. “Your pee stinks however, until they take me down, I’ll continue to cherish you. Happy birthday! I love you, little turd.”
106. “Listen up, punk! It’s been great watching you grow to become an independent young man. Happy 18th birthday!”
107. “Happy day to most ugly person I’ve ever met. You get me off my toes nearly every day. But I still have affection for you. Enjoy a slice of cake and dance around with the cakes!”
108. “Hope that you are having a fantastic day. I am so grateful (most often) that I am blessed to have you as my sister! I love you!”
109. “Happy birthday to yooooouuuuu! We hope your birthday is as memorable, unique and memorable as yours! We appreciate you and we are happy for a child who is like you!”
110. “You’re very oily however I really love you, I think. Your grease doesn’t get out from my unconditional love, hehe. Also, you smell as my dog. A bad smell. I love you.”
Vaginal Journey Day of Remembrance
Let’s face it as it is: birthdays are just a reminder of the time when somebody exploded from their mother’s uterus. Send a birthday card that pays tribute to the poor vagina of this mama’s.
111. “Another year since you were able to get out of an ovarian cyst! “Happy Birthday!”
112. “Happy Vaginal Journey Remembrance Day!”
113. “Happy birthday! Thank you for coming out of your mother’s vagina.”
114. “I wish you an unforgettable day on the 35th anniversary of your vaginal descent!”
115. “Best wishes to celebrate the day that your face touched the vagina of your mother.”
Parents Are Getting It On
Ewwwww!! Is it funny or cringeworthy? It’s an art of balancing the two! It’s probably best to keep these messages for those know have a great ability to laugh.
116. “Happy Day of Birth! I’m so happy that your parents were able to bring you to.”
117. “So thankful that your parents had it on the special day to the late 40’s. All around war there was talk of an imminent invasion by the Japanese and yet two lovers were able to find some time in bombing raids to get you.”
118. “I’m grateful that your parents were able to bump into Uglies just 33 years ago. I don’t know what we’d have done in the absence of you!”
119. “I’m happy that your parents have helped you. What would you do what would have happened if they didn’t? I did, and it was the most painful five seconds I’ve ever had in my life all week.”
In the past In The Day
The speed of how the world is evolving right this moment can be stupefying. Do you remember what life was like before the internet? Think back to simpler times.
120. “Happy birthday to anyone old enough to know how it feels to go to the bathroom without a phone! Have a wonderful day and a great butthead!”
121. “Do you and your fellow funky young kids of who are your age still use the word “dope”? When I and your dad were children, we would use words like ‘wack’, “mad-___ and “buck wild,” and “ridiculavolkoff’. Whatever you choose, have fun celebrating your birth day and mark it with a stiff glass… that is, of Kool-aid.”
122. “Happy birthday! As you’re getting old I thought I’d do something more old-fashioned than snapping you while I go shit.”
123. “May your Facebook page be full of birthday wishes from friends whom you’ve never met or seen in a while or truly don’t even care about.”
Just like a good joke, bringing back nostalgic memories of hilarious moments you’ve shared with your birthday girl or boy will surely make them smile on their face. We wish you a great time!
124. “Wishing you a happy and enjoyable birthday! Remember the time in Greece you believed the olive tree was a grape? We remember hehe. We wish you a wonderful birthday celebration!”
125. “Remember the time I sneaked from the home at 13 years old and you awoke before me with a policeman standing on your porch? or the time you loaned me money (haha Okay, fine… it occurred more than once …)?”
126. “Happy birthday! What is it with us turning 25 this year? We were in middle school and Carowinds as well as Chili’s was our favorite places to go haha! Make the year 25 the most memorable ever!”
127. “I’ll never forget the Dodgers game that you attended with us and the man was selling tickets from car to vehicle and totally exposed his crack as he leant over to speak to the car that was next to us. Ha ha ha ha! I have many memories of you! I hope you have a wonderful birthday!”
Ideas for Birthday Messages to send on a Belated Birthday
Oops!! You didn’t send your loved ones birthday wishes… it’s a shame! As the saying is better to be late than never! Send that birthday wish , and then use one of these perfectly acceptable excuses (you’re very welcome! ).
128. “Now when all the birthday wishes of everyone else have gone out of the window I’m going to send you a huge message from my side! “Have a wonderful (belated) Birthday!”
129. “I decided that we all love vintage collectibles , so I allowed your birthday card to age slightly to get you to catch up with your older bit! I’m not kidding… it’s not old! Haha love ya!”
130. “I realize that this card is old news however, in my age, my memory hasn’t improved to the same as it was in the past. …”
131. “It would be me if my card and gift weren’t too late!”
Now send Your Favorite Funny Birthday Messages!
Create a card that makes them smile since, really, isn’t laughter the most wonderful birthday present you can give? It’s as simple as copying and pasting. We’ll even write your funny birthday card’s message and send it to you!